He Walks in Dread
by Ryan Brooklyn
Summary: “Every time I stepped a foot out of my house, I feared I would meet the one I was destined to be with forever.” Jacob dreads his own imprinting as he watches Quil baby-sit Claire. Set sometime during Eclipse.


**A/N: I have not read **_**Breaking Dawn**_** so please no spoilers in your reviews. Thank you. :-P**

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Jacob (sob!), Quil (drat), or Claire (awww), they and the entire Twilight series universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer._

**Spoilers: **Up through Eclipse

**Rating: **G toPG-ish

**Genre: **Angst/Friendship/Humor and general cuteness

**Summary: **"Every time I stepped a foot out of my house, I feared I would meet the one I was destined to be with forever." Jacob dreads his own imprinting as he watches Quil baby-sit Claire. Set during Eclipse.

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**He Walks in Dread**

The first thing that happened when I walked into Sam's house and slammed the door behind me was Quil's head snapping up and his face giving me a glare.

"Jaaaaaaaake," he complained in an annoyed whisper.

"Whaaaaaat?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"She's _sleeping_," he hissed, nodding to the small bundle on the couch that I had not seen at first glance. I grimaced when I realized who it was. Little Claire was wrapped up in a blanket and was sucking her thumb as she snuggled against the back of the couch. Quil was sitting beside her, hovering over her as if he was afraid she would roll off and break into a million pieces if he didn't watch out.

"Sorry," I muttered, but it seemed like it was too late. Quil held his breath as the bundle moved and sighed, snuggling deeper before lying still once more. Quil breathed again and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again.

"You're very lucky," Quil said in a low voice. "I might have had to kill you."

"And scar her for life?" I asked in an incredulous voice. "Oh Quil you wouldn't!"

Quil growled but grudgingly agreed. "I guess today is your lucky day," he said.

I sighed then. "If you say so," I said, shrugging as I walked into the kitchen, trying not to think of the fact that if today _was_ my lucky day, I would be spending it with Bella, not here with this idiot.

"Where's Emily?" I asked, going for the Cocoa Puffs. Quil stood very, very slowly and walked over to lean in the doorway, making sure he could still see Claire out of the side of his eye.

"She went out with the rest of her family," he said. "Hence the reason I'm babysitting Claire. She was feeling too tired to go and since I was already here." He shrugged. "What are _you_ doing here?" He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously.

"Bored," I answered flatly, sitting down with a bowl and a carton of milk, pouring the cereal into the bowl until it reached the brim. Somehow the sound of the falling puffs woke Claire for she sat up and began to rub her eyes sleepily.

Instantly Quil was at her side, laying a massive hand on her tiny (in comparison) back. I could see the tenderness in his gaze and felt a small twinge in my stomach for some reason in response to it. I looked away and concentrated on my food, stuffing as much as I could into my mouth just in case Quil turned to ask me something or something. But he didn't, all his attention was on the small girl at his side.

"Are you hungry Claire, honey?" he asked gently and after a moment of looking up at him, she nodded solemnly. He picked her up carefully in his large arms and carried her over to the table where he set her down in a chair across from me. Her calculating brown eyes rested on my face and I crossed my eyes at her. A tiny smile cracked through her serious expression.

"Hey Jake," Quil said, pawing through the cupboards for some baby food. "Guess what?" He didn't wait for me to guess. "Claire can say my name! Can't you Claire-bear?" (His endearments were beginning to make me feel queasy.)

She just looked at him. "Say Quil," he instructed patiently, pausing to look at her.

"Krill" it sounded like she said to me, but Quil beamed like a proud uncle (which, in a way, he was, sorta).

"See?" He said, grinning his face off.

"Fantastic," I said in a monotone. My obvious bad mood did not seem to be affecting Quil. In fact he started whistling cheerfully as he went about making Claire her food. She watched him for a few seconds before banging her hand impatiently on the table. I watched as he set the food in front of her and began helping her eat it, being as patient and tender as a good older brother should be. I sighed focused my attention elsewhere.

It was strange enough, watching imprinted couples interact, but it was even stranger with Quil and Claire, knowing they would never be able to be together like _that_ for at least fourteen more years. My thoughts turned to me and my impending imprinting. I squirmed anxiously inside as the dreaded subject rose unwelcomingly into my mind.

What I hated to admit to the others (but what I knew I really couldn't hide from them) was the face that I was absolutely _terrified_ of imprinting. My entire heart and soul had been given to Bella, I couldn't _dream_ of wanting anyone or anything other than her and only her. Every time I stepped a foot out of my house, I feared I would meet the one I was destined to be with forever.

I cringed inwardly in fear every time I turned around in school and ran into a girl. My breath hitched in terror every time out-of-town relatives came to visit one of the pack members. I was scared stiff at the thought of resting my eyes on a girl and having all feelings for Bella melt away as if I had never felt anything for her. I could not do that. I would not do that. Bella was my _life_. I could not imagine it any other way and I didn't want to.

Claire's baby laugh broke through my brooding and I looked up and rolled my eyes.

"Quil, you're making faces," I said in disgust as I saw my friend's expression screwed up into a completely ridiculous mask as he tried to get a spoonful of mashed . . . something into Claire's mouth.

He turned and frowned darkly at me. "I was not," he protested, straightening his expression quickly.

I snickered. "Were too."

"Was not."

"Were too."

"Not."

"Too."

Our childish banter was broken by Claire banging on her plate with a small fist, demanding more. Quil quickly diverted his attention back to her and I was once more left alone to my thoughts.

Sometimes, but only sometimes, I wondered if things would actually be better for everyone if I did imprint. Bella would be free to love her bloodsucker without feeling guilty about her feelings for me. And I would have someone who loved me back just as fiercely as I loved her. However the stupid part of me, the extremely selfish side, abhorred the idea. I could not let my Bella go. It would break my heart to imprint, not complete it . . . no matter what Jared and Sam and Quil said.

Claire obviously had had enough food by now. She kept moving her face away from Quil's spoon. Finally he got the picture and put the utensil down, picking her up out of the chair and wiping her face gently with a napkin.

"Clean this up will you Jake?" he asked as he carried her back into the living room.

"What do I look like?" I grumbled. "A maid?"

Quil just ignored me however and I knew better than to leave the mess for Emily to clean up. Quickly rising the dishes, I set them in the drainer and then walked back into the living room, setting my self down the couch and watching as Quil played with Claire on the floor in front of me. He had her tiny toes in his huge fingers and was playing his version of "This Little Piggy" . . . the wolf version apparently.

"This little werewolf went to battle, this little werewolf stayed home. This little werewolf killed bloodsucker, this little werewolf caught none. And this little werewolf went _howooooool _all the way home." He threw back his head and actually howled at that part as his fingers made his way up to tickle her stomach. She giggled but I looked at him skeptically.

"Nice Quil. And that's not scarring at all." I smirked and shook my head.

Quil made a face. "Hey, she has to get used to the werewolf way of living sometime," he said in his defense. It was then that he noticed my somewhat gloomy state. He sat up straighter, pulling Claire into his lap and bouncing her slightly up and down as she laughed at the movement.

"What's up Jake?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me. I shrugged listlessly, turning my gaze away.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Sure, sure," Quil used my catchphrase in an obvious show of disbelief. I glared at him. He looked back with eyes wide with fake innocence. I huffed in frustration.

"Just thinking about . . . stuff. Personal stuff."

"You mean Bella stuff?" Quil said with a knowing grin. I rolled my eyes but did not answer; I knew he would know he was right.

"I don't see what the big deal is about you and imprinting," he said, continuing to bounce Claire up and down gently. "It's great!"

"Yeah but you never loved anyone before that," I pointed out.

"What? You're afraid it'll be like Sam and Emily and Leah?" he asked, shuddering slightly.

"_No_," I muttered. Then added: "not exactly."

"Dude, you'll get over it. Trust me."

"I don't get you."

"Why? Because I actually _like_ being a werewolf?"

"Yeah. You and Seth gotta be the only ones who would stay like this if given the chance to change."

"That's cuz it's totally awesome!" Quil said, grinning with excitement at his words. Claire began to complain that the bouncing was getting to be too much and he quickly stopped and let her go. She crawled out of his lap and over to the TV where she pulled herself up and started pressing the buttons absently.

"Where's the remote?" Quil asked suddenly, looking around hastily for it. I pointed wordlessly to where it sat in plain sight over the television. He stood up and almost tripped over himself in his haste to grab it and turn it on, changing the channels until it landed on Claire's favorite show. He then picked her up and carried her over to the sofa where he sat down next to me and set her on his lap. I watched as she leaned back against his massive chest and fixed her gaze on the colorful puppets dancing and singing across the screen.

They looked so comfortable sitting there, I saw. And I could not help but wish Bella could be comfortable in a position like that with me. Somehow I doubted it. She liked sitting close to me and feeling my warmth, but I knew she would balk if I attempted to pull her into my lap. I chuckled softly at the mental image of her face growing red and her biting words trying to convince me to let her go. She would put up one heck of a fight.

I rubbed my jaw absently, remembering when she had tried to punch me that time I had kissed her. I slowly grinned as I remembered the feel of her lips, the taste of her, the smell of her (the part that wasn't tainted by the bloodsucker's scent). Quil poked me in the ribs rather sharply.

"Thinking of _her_?" he asked, snickering.

"What's it to you?" I snapped, growing defensive as I hastened to calm the heat that was rising to my cheeks.

Quil shrugged. "I was just wondering if there was a good reason for that stupid grin on your face or if you just had bad gas." He snickered again.

I punched his shoulder none too gently. "It's really none of your business," I said, then tightened my lips as Quil looked amused.

"Sorry kid, but being a werewolf kinda makes your business my business," he said, tapping his head pointedly. I scowled.

"Yeah, un_fort_unately," I growled under my breath.

Quil shrugged. "Wasn't my idea to make us all mind readers. You're going to need to take that up with your great, great grandfather."

I sighed. "Do you think I'm stupid for loving her, even though she doesn't love me back in that way?" I asked suddenly, speaking now to my best friend instead of just another one of the pack.

Quil shifted uncomfortably. "You'll have to ask Embry," he said and gave me an apologetic grimace. "You know I'm no good with the emotion-y, heart-to-heart stuff." I sighed again and faced the TV, wondering absently how exactly singing, dancing, colorful puppets managed to grab the undivided attention of young children so easily. If only I had that power to grab Bella's undivided attention.

"But if you really want my opinion," Quil cut into my thoughts with a clearing of his throat. "No, I don't think you're stupid. Just . . . an idiot."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Hey, you wanted my opinion, and I gave it," Quil said unapologetically. "But I kinda see where you're coming from."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You do?" I asked incredulously.

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "I used to have a crush on her too, remember?"

I stared at him. He hastened to go on. "Of course, mine wasn't nearly as strong as yours," he amended. "But it was a taste of what you're feeling now. If only an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny one."

I could not help but snicker slightly. "Thanks," I said, more sincerely this time.

"Any time," Quil said with an easy grin.

And so while I still dreaded imprinting, I decided to let my fear go for now. It was not fair for the rest of the pack to constantly be worrying about my well-being and sanity. They had enough problems of their own, and enough to think about, especially with the coming battle with the bloodsuckers. So for now I would concentrate on that, and concentrate on spending as much time with Bella as I could before . . . before I lost her forever.

I would continue to walk in dread for most of my life, I was sure. But while she was still here, and while I still loved her and only her, I would make sure those times we spent together would be memorable and good.

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